Reflections
by RangerH
Summary: Tessa reflects upon what has just happened after the Gauron incident. Where will she find the answers to what she feels. New chapter uploaded.
1. Where the Heart leads

REFLECTIONS DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN FULL MEATL PANIC!. ADV FILMS, GONZO PRODUCTIONS AND OTHERS DO. This is my first Full Metal Panic! Fanfic. Pleas be kind.  
REFLECTIONS By RangerH  
  
One Week after the defeat of Gauron  
  
Capt. Teletha Testarossa sat at her desk trying to hold back the tears that were trying desprately to flow.  
  
I have to get work done. Thought Tessa as she stared at the damage report of the Teuatha De Danan.  
  
As she tried to get the paper work done that a Capt. has to do. She kept on thinking of how things came to be.  
  
If it wasn't for Kaname and Sgt. Sagara, we all might be dead now.  
  
With that final thought, the dam breaks and the tears begin to flow.  
  
As Tessa sobs on her desk, she hears a knock on her office door. Before she answers it she dries her eyes and straightens herself out.  
  
With a final sniffle she opens the door to reveal the Lt. CMDR Kalinan has returned from his negotiations.  
  
"Madame Capt. are you alright?" He asks as he comes into Tessa's office.  
  
"I am fine Cmdr. Kalinan!" Tessa says. "Welcome back. I heard that the negotiations went well?  
  
"Yes, Capt. that they did.  
  
"Glad to hear it." Tessa says as she sits down at her desk.  
  
"Capt. Testarossa, the negotiations were not what I wanted to talk to you about." Cmdr Kalinan says as he looks at Tessa in a fatherly kind of way.  
  
"As I understand it you went through an ordeal that you were never prepared for, but you were able to get out of it by using your mind and your familarity of certain personell at your disposal." As Tessa listens she tries to make sense of what the Cmdr is trying to say to her.  
  
"You are in no condition to command right now so might I suggest you go talk to someone that knows more about this.  
  
Tessa's eyes go wide as she contamplates what she was just told.  
  
"I will not go see a shrink Cmdr." She says without thinking. She starts to pick up the papers on her desk in a disorganized manner.  
  
"I was not thinking of you seeing a shrink Capt., but SGT. Sagara." Cmdr Kalinan says with a smile on his face.  
  
"You can find him on the south side of the Island." With that he leaves her office.  
  
Tessa just stares at the door that has just closed leaving her alone again.  
  
Talk to Sgt. Sagara! But what would I say to him? What does he know that I do not understand? Tessa thinks as she walks away from her desk and out the door to head to her quarters. 


	2. What the Heart holds

Ok here is chapter 2. I know that this might be not what everyone wants in the way of romance with Tessa and Souske, but hey I think Tessa is cute. This all takes place if no one figured out from the first chapter, after the last episode of Full Metal Panic! Things are going slow for me so updates may take awhile. I will be moving back to the states in the next month so it will be even longer until I have my computer back. I am also working on another story as well as some books that I hope to have published. One more note, if I start spouting off military stuff do not worry. I am in the military. Now on with the show.  
  
What the Heart holds  
  
Tessa enters her private quarters and begins to undress to change into something more comfortable in order to walk the Island surface. As she is changing Tessa thinks about the first time she first saw Souske and how she has a special place in her heart for him. Afterwards Tessa looks in the full length mirror and sighs to herself.  
  
"I wonder what Souske will think of me wearing this?" Tessa says to herself.  
  
Tessa smoothes out her shorts and the blouse that she is wearing to make sure that everything is just right. As she is about to leave her room to go to the south side of the Island to search for Souske, she hears a knock on her door.  
  
"Who can it be now?" Tessa asks her bear that is resting on her bed.  
  
Tessa opens the door to reveal Melissa with a can of beer in her hand. "I thought you were on sick leave Melissa and that you could not have any alcohol?" Tessa asks of her friend as she comes in.  
  
"I thought I would come by and see how you are doing and to just chat a little bit." Melissa says to Tessa as she takes a seat.  
  
"I was just about to leave to have a walk on the Island." Tessa says to Melissa not wanting to tell her that she was going in search of Souske.  
  
"I see! So do you want some company?"  
  
"No that's all right Melissa. I just want to be alone for now." Tessa says with a thought to herself. ÔI do not want her to know that I am really going to see Souske.  
  
"Ok then I will go and drink this all by myself then, or I may find Weber to see if he wants to join me." Melissa says as she gets up to leave not letting on that she knows what Tessa is really up to.  
  
"Bye Melissa!" Tessa says as they both go out the door and go their separate ways.  
  
"See you later Tessa." Melissa says as she goes to find Weber to inform him of what she saw on Tessa. Or not.  
  
Tessa walks through the base and towards the entrance that will take her to the south side of the Island. As she is walking she starts to think about what she wants to say to Souske when she finally sees him.  
  
ÔThis is getting hard for me to do.' Tessa thinks to herself.  
  
Finally she is on the surface of the Island and she proceeds to the south end to find the one person that can answer the questions that are on her mind. She knows that they must be answered if she is to become a more effective Captain. As Tessa thinks about this she takes in the beauty of the Island and listens carefully to the other sounds in the surrounding jungle of this Island paradise.  
  
As she finally makes it to the south end she begins to hear the roar of the ocean. As Tessa reaches the cliff face she takes in the beauty of the ocean and waves crashing against the base.  
  
ÔI wonder where Souske is?' Tessa wonders as she begins to look around.  
  
As if answering her own question she sees him on a outcropping just down below her. Instead of calling out to him she just watches him for a little while wondering what he might be thinking right now.  
  
ÔI know that Kaname is back in Tokyo now while Souske is here doing some training and to ensure that Arbelast is back in working order.' Tessa says to herself, but wonders what is he doing out here all by himself.  
  
As if he heard the question Souske casts out a fishing line into the ocean below. Tessa smiles at a memory of her father taking her fishing when she was younger. She was taught how to fish by her father and she enjoyed spending that time with him when they went. ÔI haven't been fishing in years!' Tessa thinks to herself. ÔI wonder if Souske would mind me joining him and showing him that I can fish too?'  
  
Tessa shakes her head as if to clear the foolish thought that Souske would let her fish with him. Souske continues to fish while Tessa just looks on with him not knowing that he is being watched. Tessa's heart beats a little faster and a smile comes to her face as she sees him catch a fish and takes it off the hook so that he can cook it and eat it later. She watches as he cast the line out again.  
  
Tessa finds the path leading down to where Souske is at and stands there behind him watching him thinking as to why she had fallen for him in the first place.  
  
Finally gaining enough courage to speak "Souske?" Tessa says finally.  
  
Souske hearing his name turns his head around to see Tessa smiling at him. 


	3. Musings in the club

Well here is another chapter. I hope you all like it. Constructive criticism is very welcome.  
  
Musings in the club  
  
In the club that is on base CMDR. Kalinin, is sitting at the bar drinking when CMDR. Mardukas enters and sees him sitting there. As Mardukas goes up to the bar, the bartender sees him and gets a pint of his favorite beer.  
  
"Mind if I join you Andrei?" Mardukas asks of his Russian friend.  
  
"Sure Richard! As long as I get to buy you a drink?" Kalinin says.  
  
"As long as your offering!" Mardukas says with a laugh.  
  
"So what brings you here Rich?  
  
"Had to get away from all the paperwork, and you?  
  
"The same as well as worrying about the Capt. and SGT. Sagara!" Kalinin says as he brings his beer to his lips.  
  
"I have been worried about her too! But I do not know if she will find the answers without a little help?  
  
"That is why I told her to talk to SGT. Sagara.  
  
Mardukas looks at Kalinin "You told here to talk to Sagara, but why?  
  
"Because he has been there, in the same position as what Capt. Testarossa just faced!  
  
"I will have to trust you on that one Andrei." With that both men continued drinking and talking about what has transpired.  
  
In another part of the bar, Melissa Mao and Kurz Weber are drinking and talking about all that has happened.  
  
"So, Melissa, I thought you couldn't drink beer since your on con-leave?" Kurz asks of melissa as he takes a long swig from his mug.  
  
"Screw what the doc's say!" Melissa says as she lifts her mug to her mouth.  
  
"You know you could get into a lot of trouble if they catch you.  
  
"I know, but I do not think they will mind." As she takes another sip from her mug.  
"I went to talk to Tessa today just to talk to her, but she was going for a walk on the Island." Melissa says as she signals the waiter to bring another round.  
  
"So why are you not with Tessa then?  
  
"She did not want any company. She just wanted to be alone." As Melissa says this she remembers what Tessa was wearing.  
  
"Its kind of funny that Tessa wants to be alone and so does Souske." Kurz says as the fresh mug's of beer arrive.  
  
"What do you mean that Souske is alone too!" Melissa exclaims.  
  
"Yeah, I asked Souske if he wanted some company fishing." Kurz tells Melissa.  
  
"I wonder if Tessa was going in search of Souske since he is still here?" Melissa says thinking as to why Tessa was looking a little bit sexy in the blouse and shorts she was wearing.  
  
"Ooooooo..... So Tessa is searching for Souske..... huh!" Kurz thinks with his head in the gutter.  
  
Melissa hits him over the head smacking it into the table. "Idiot!  
  
With a resounding thud that is made stops all the chatter in the club. Even the CMDR's turn their heads to see what the fuss was about.  
"I wonder what SGT. Weber did now?" Mardukas asks Kalinin.  
  
"I do not want to know, Rich!  
  
"I agree!" Mardukas says raising his glass as Kalinin raises his in a toast.  
  
What none of them know is that Capt. Testarossa has found Souske and is in the process of finally getting to talk to him about the questions she has and to get him talk a little bit about himself and to tell him about herself.  
  
con-leave: short for convalescence leave or sick leave.  
A/N: Since this a small base, the club would be a combined club with both officers and enlisted mingling about. Also, any suggestions for the next chapter since it will only focus on Souske and Tessa will be taken. 


	4. Conversations while fishing!

Well, here is the next chapter. It is a long one. Whew........... I hope you all like it. Its funny how some things come in a dream. Well, this is it. Thank you for the suggestion in the review. Part of this takes place as Tessa is walking down the path to Souske in chapter 2. I love how some series back track after a commercial to make a little bit more suspensful. I hope you all like. Now on with the Story.  
  
Conversations while Fishing!  
  
As Tessa walks down the path to Souske she unbuttons the top three buttons on her blouse since she thought it was a little bit stuffy. After she undoes the buttons she makes sure that her blouse is smooth and not wrinkled. Tessa thinks that this maybe to much to get Souske's attention, but not to much.  
  
Tessa finally gets to the bottom of the trail she sees Souske and she smiles since she is so close to him now. She walks a little bit closer a little bit lighter making sure not to startle him.  
  
Souske for his part was not aware that he was being watched. He just concentrated on fishing. As he casts out his line he is thinking of everything that has transpired over the past week. He did not return to Japan since he was needed at the base for training and to help out in the transfer of equipment needed to be moved in order to repair the sub.  
  
As Souske thinks about what has happened he sees two face's clearly. One is of Kaname who he swore to protect, and the other of his Captain who cried on his shoulder after they returned to the Melinda Island. Over the past week his feeling's for the Capt. grew from just his superior officer to that of friend and maybe something else. Even his feelings for Kaname changed. As he thinks of these new found feeling's, he constantly comes to the realization that he has fallen for his Captain over Kaname. For all its worth Kaname was able to help him in discovering his feeling's and for that he is grateful. His feelings for Kaname will always be special.  
  
As Souske continues fishing he thinks that he is being watched, but dismisses it until.....  
  
"Souske  
  
Souske turns around and sees Tessa standing behind him with a smile on her face dressed in shorts, a blouse, and tennis shoes. As He looks at Tessa he wonders what she is doing here.  
  
"Capt! How did you know I was here and what are doing here?!" Souske asks with a little bit of a stutter to his voice.  
  
"Souske! Call me Tessa when we're off duty." Tessa says to Souske still with a smile on her face.  
  
"Yes Cap.... Umm Tessa!" Souske stammers out.  
  
"I am wondering if you wouldn't mind if I fished with you?" Tessa asks.  
  
"Of course not Tessa! I can teach you if you do not know how to fish if you like?" Souske asks.  
  
"When I was younger, my father taught me how to fish." Tessa says as she sits down next to Souske and picks up the extra fishing pole, puts bait on the hook and casts out it out into the ocean as Souske looks on and is impressed by how his Capt. knows how to fish.  
  
Souske continues to look at Tessa as she sits there patiently waiting for a nibble. Souske then remembers that Tessa was looking for him. "Uhh............. Tessa what.... Why...... Are you looking for me?"  
  
"I was told by CMDR. Kalinin that you would be here! I guess he knew of your secret fishing spot since know one else knew where you were at times when you were at base." Tessa says as she reels in her line rebaits the hook and casts it out.  
  
"Ever since the incident, I have been thinking about what might have been or what could have happened. So Mr. Kalinin sent me to talk to you since you might know the answers to the question's that I have." Tessa says with a tear coming from her eye.  
  
"I understand Tessa." Souske says as he rebait's his hook cast's it out again. "For I have been there myself, but I rarely let it show.  
  
"But how do you cope with it? I mean I am trying to cope, but I am having difficulty in trying to understand what can come of it and if it will make me a better Captain!?" Tessa says without looking at Souske.  
  
"Well, one thing is you have to see the bright side of things and understand that you did all you can and that the outcome was for the best, even if it meant you almost got killed." Souske tells Tessa as he looks over to her to see what her reaction might be.  
  
"I have never thought about that way, but I am unsure about everything else that happened?" Tessa says with a few tears coming to her eyes.  
  
"When I went back to Hemajastan, I was unsure of what might happen there myself." Souske relays to Tessa as she turns her head to him as he speaks. "I found myself thinking about if I would return to my friend's and shipmate's." As Souske says this his demeanor changes with what looks like tears coming to his eyes. "I began to doubt myself after I had returned.  
  
"I did not know that you carried a heavy burden when you returned. I only read in the report that the team you were with all died and that you defeat Gauron and recovered the Nuclear Missile." Tessa says putting her hand on Souske's arm.  
  
Souske looks at her with tears in his eyes and notices that Tessa has tears in her eyes too. "The hardest part was the fact that I had to kill a former friend of mine who also taught me how to handle a gun and tactic's.  
  
"I guess we all have demons that we have to exercise when we need too." Tessa says to Souske making sure to maintain the gaze with him. "I was worried that you might not make it back from that mission, but was glad you did."  
  
"I was fortunate to have friends like you that believe in me and that I had a purpose to come home too." Souske says as he feels a tug on his line and Tessa feels a tug on hers too.  
  
"I guess we both got bites this time Souske!" Tessa says as she starts reeling her line in.  
  
"That we do, but I think we might have the same fish." Souske says as he sees the fish break the surface.  
  
Tessa catches his meaning as she notices that her line too is in the fishes mouth. Both Tessa and Souske fight the fish and start hauling it to their perch. As they are reeling it in they both move closer to each other and bump arms. They both look at each other and each of them blush. As the fish gets closer to their perch they see that it is getting harder to reel in.  
  
Tessa starts thinking to herself that its her and Souske's fish and no one else's. As the fish reaches the perch she is almost exhausted from the fight. They both get the fish up on the perch and they both look at each other as they both fall to the ground laughing. Tessa rolls over ontop of Souske and looks into his eyes laughing all the while. Souske looks up at her laughing and wraps his arms around her to hug her.  
  
"Tessa that was a good fight that we both won against a fish." Souske says to Tessa.  
  
"That it was Souske that it was." Tessa says with a laugh. At which point both she and Souske are close enough that they share their first kiss together. After what seems like and eternity (that is what both will think) they break the kiss and look at each other with fondness as they both get up.  
  
"I guess we will have a good fish dinner won't we Souske?" Tessa says to Souske as he unhooks the fish from both hooks and nods his head.  
  
"I guess we will! I will have the mess hall cook the fish up for us so you and I can have a dinner with some of our friends."  
  
"What do you mean Souske?" Tessa asks perplexed.  
  
"I mean since I have caught four more fish and I do not want it to go to waste. I figured that I would share it with CMDR'S Mardukas, Kalinin, SGT's Mao, and Weber. With the one that caught, and the one that we both caught, after you got here I thought it would be appropriate for all of us to have a fish dinner as friend's." Souske says with a smile.  
  
"Yes I agree Souske. That would be wonderful." Tessa says as she jumps into his arms and gives him another quick kiss.  
  
"Shall we head back now.  
  
"Yes, lets." Tessa says as she links her arm with Souske's and they both head back to the base with the fish so they can have a nice fish dinner with friends.  
  
Authors afterward: I know that this may not be what some people expect between Souske and Tessa, but I figured that they have grown a little bit after the experiance of the last EP. This is not the end. I there should be a few more chappies in the future. So stay tuned. 


	5. Of Sunsets and a Fish Dinner

Here is the next chapter. I am currently in the process of revising chapter 4 so bear with me. There were several mistakes that were pointed out to me so I decided to revise it to correct my grammer and spelling. ( I am not an eglish major so do not sue me.) I hope you enjoy this cegment of the story.

Of Sunsets and a Fish Dinner

Tessa and Souske begin walking back to base after fishing, arm in arm. As they walk, Tessa thinks about what just happened and blushes as she remembers kissing him for the very first time after reeling in their fish. Souske for his part was thinking the same thing when he looked over to her and thought how beautiful she looked.

"Tessa!" at the sound of her name Tessa turns to face Souske.

"Yes, Souske?"

"I was wondering if you have found the answers to your questions." Souske asks of Tessa as she looks into his eyes. As she looks a new well of tears begins to let loose.

"Not all of my questions have been answered, but I do believe that you will help me as time goes on won't you?

"Of course.

They continue to walk and talk about many different things. Occasionally they both talk about the incident and what Tessa can do to be a more effective leader. They both notice that the sun is beginning to set as they come to a clearing that over looks the Island. At the sight they both stop to take it in.

"Its beautiful up here!" Tessa exclaims as she runs ahead of Souske.

Souske looks on and just nods his head. As he sees Tessa taking in the sight he wonders if a better world for them is just around the corner. Tessa looks at Souske with a smile on her face and he smiles back at her.

They both continue on their way to the base so they can have a quiet fish dinner with friends. This time they walk in silence pondering what may be in the future. The sunset reminded them that tomorrow is always unknown.

Tessa then realizes that she and Souske will be able to face the unknown one day at a time and that she also has to be able to solve problems without being helpless. As she thinks about this she looks down with a smile on her face and tears in her eyes. She also knows that both she and Souske have to take things slow between them. Not for the sake of what could happen but to keep their friendship intact.

As they both reach the entrance to the base they look at each other and smile as they enter. While descending into the underground base, Souske figures out how to get the chef in the galley to prepare the fish. He then goes over a mental list in his head as to how to get the rest of the team into the mess hall for a private dinner of fish. After he figures it out he looks at Tessa. "I will take the fish to the galley and have the chef prepare the dinner while you get changed and look for our friends to share this with.

"Of course, Souske." Tessa says with a smile on her face.

They both go their separate ways, Souske to the Galley and Tessa to her Quarters.

"I hope that everyone will appreciate this." Tessa says but does not see who is in front of her and bumps into them and falls to the floor. "Ouch...."

"Tessa, are you all right?" Melissa Mao says to her friend offering her hand to help Tessa up.

"Yes I am fine Melissa.

"That's good. I was just on my way.... sniff Is that a fish smell?" Melissa says to Tessa with her face a little wrinkled at the smell of fish.

Tessa looks at her friend wide eyed then blushes.

"I knew it you found Souske fishing!" Melissa says with a smile.

"Yes I did Melissa and we caught some fish for all of us to eat." Tessa says looking at her friend with a smile and a look that Melissa would say was determination.

"What do you mean by all of us?

"That is what I said, so now you have to find SGT. Weber and CMDR's Mardukas and Kalinin, to tell them to meet in the mess hall in an hr to meet myself and Souske for a nice fish dinner. ok.

"Of course Tessa, but what will you be doing in the mean time?" Melissa asks

"I will be taking a shower and getting changed." With that Tessa continues on to her quarters.

As Tessa rounds the corner, Melissa has a confused look on her face and wonders what just happened. True to her word she goes in search of Kurz and both CMDR's.

As she searches for them she remembers that Tessa went out for a walk. A smile comes to her face as she realizes that Tessa actually went in search of Souske. "I wonder what they talked about up there while they were fishing?" she says out loud to no one in particular.

It didn't take long for Melissa to find both CMDR's since they were on their way back to their quarters. As she approaches they both see her and stop when she waves her arm at them.

"Sir's! Capt. Testarossa sent me to find you and to tell you to meet her in the mess hall for a nice fish dinner courtesy of her and SGT. Sagara, in an hr." She says to them with astonished looks in their eyes.

"What do you mean courtesy of her and SGT. Sagara? SGT. Major Mao?" Mardukas says when he recovers from the shock.

"That is what I said sir." Melissa says then adds "I also have to inform SGT. Weber to tell him too.

"I see I wonder what she has in mind?

"That I do not know, but its for all of us. That is all I know." Melissa says with a shrug.

"Very well then we will both be there.

With that said Melissa goes on her way to find SGT. Weber.

"Now I wonder what those two were doing fishing?" Mardukas asks Kalinin.

"SGT. Sagara was fishing and I told the Capt. where to find him so she can talk to him. I guess that she fished with him?

"I guess so.

"I suggest we both get changed so we can meet them in the mess hall Rich." Kalinin says as he turns to go to his quarters.

"An excellent Idea and since it's not formal I suggest we go plain cloths.

"Agreed." With that said both CMDR's go to their room Ôs to change into something a little better than their uniforms.

Melissa reaches Weber's quarters and finds that its empty so she goes in search of him in the only place that letch would be. The ladies bath house. As she nears the bath house near the bases indoor pool she hears the other women that are assigned to the base and the sub talking.

"Now where is he lurking?" Melissa says in hushed voice.

As she begins looking around Kurz is looking through a slat, in the bath house, in what is the sauna where there are several women sitting and talking. He wishes of course that they were not wearing towels but beggars can not be choosers. He moves a little bit to get a better view when he hears.

"So there you are you letch!!!!"

Kurz turns around and sees Melissa pounding her fist in her hand and a look that could kill on her face. "Ahhhh..... Melissa its not what you think......." before he could say anything else he was hit so hard that he hit the wall of the sauna and slid down unconscious. The women that were inside the sauna came out and saw Melissa standing over Kurz. They all start clapping as she takes him away to get him ready for dinner.

Souske for his part was able to convince the chef to prepare the fish in a special way. He then went to his quarters to change and take a quick shower. As he is taking his shower he runs through the days events.

Tessa also while taking a shower runs through the events of the day and wonders if she and Souske will be able to grow closer after today. After her shower is over she gets dressed in a nice skirt and blouse combo with shoes that are comfortable versus with heels. She looks herself over in the mirror and smoothes out any wrinkles. Feeling refreshed Tessa makes her way to the mess hall to have dinner with her friends.

Everyone else were at the mess hall waiting for Tessa and Souske. When they all entered they saw one table set with a table cloth and what looked like good silverware. They could smell the fish being cooked as well as the other food that will be accompanying it.

Kurz still nursing a sore jaw asks "Now what are we here for?

"For dinner at the Capt.'s request!" Melissa says with hint of disdain for her companion.

Tessa approaches the mess hall as she sees Souske round the corner. Upon seeing Tessa, Souske looks at her carefully and understands why everyone likes her so much. As they approach each other at the mess hall entrance they smile.

"You look great Tessa!" Souske says as he bows before her.

"Thank you Souske." Tessa says blushing with a broad smile.

They both enter the mess hall and see their friends standing at the table waiting for them.  
Both of them walk towards them smiling. Each one of them wonder's what to make of this but do not say it openly for fear of spoiling the mood.

"Well you are probably wondering why we wanted to have a fish dinner with all of you." Tessa addresses the group.

"Yes Capt. We were wondering about why you and SGT. Sagara wanted us all to eat dinner with both of you?" Mardukas asks even though he wonders why both Sagara and Tessa are standing close to each other but dismisses since they are both the same age.

"Well, since both SGT. Sagara and I were fishing together. We caught enough fish for all of our friends." She says using her hands for emphasis.

As if on Que. The Chef brings out the fish dinner. As they see the fish being placed down at each place they all notice that one fish is set in front of two plates.

"Why is that one in front of those two plates?" Melissa asks.

"That's the fish the Capt. and I caught together." Souske explains.

All of them take there seats with both Souske and Tessa sitting next to each other. Mardukas frowns but understands. They all look at the meal with mouthwatering anticipation. Tessa lifts her glass of wine and stands up. Upon her standing everyone else stands too.

"I propose a toast." Tessa says then she lifts her glass high "To Friends.

"To Friends." They all say in unison.

After the toast the friends sit back down and begin eating the great meal. Tessa and Souske look at each other and smile as they eat the fish that they caught together. As they all eat the conversation begins around the table about current events and what the future may hold for them all.

After thoughts: This chapter was fun to write in the fact that it involves so many fun elements. For those that are wondering no I am not going to move the relationship of Tessa and Souske to fast. Each chapter is unto itself a new phase. They will begin to grow closer later on but not right now.

It may take longer to update (about two months) since I will be packing up my computer next week for the trip home from Korea. YEAH..... I will be able to see the states again after one yr here. Ok now. I will try to get one more chapter written (I hope) before then and posted. All comments welcome. 


	6. A thankful Fish Dinner

I do not know if this chapter conveys what I wrote in the previous chapters. So I have to leave it to you all to understand it. I did change the title due to the fact it did not fit well at all. If anyone is disappointed in the end of this chapter do not sue me. All criticism is welcome.

A Thankful Fish Dinner

As the group of friends are eating the fish dinner, they begin conversing about the the events that brought them all together. Tessa for her part was listening to the conversation with a glance every now and then to Souske. She looks to each one of the people sitting at the table with her and gives a smile that says she is confident in who they are.

"Madame Capt.?

"Yes Mr. Kalinin?" Says Tessa upon hearing her name from the Russian CMDR.

"I was wondering about how you and Sagara were able to pull this all off?" Kalinin says with a movement of his hand over the table.

"Well, we came up with the idea since so many fish were caught. Of course Souske had already caught several when I showed up.

"I see, that is why the one fish in front of you and Sagara was caught by both of you?

"Yes." Tessa says blushing.

"I bet Souske taught you how to fish, huh?" Kurz says with a mischievous smile.

"No Mr. Weber, Souske did not have to teach me how to fish." Tessa says a little bit miffed "I already knew how to fish since my father taught me when I was younger.

"Ok so how did both of you catch the fish then?

"The fish took both of our hooks." Souske finally says.

"Yeah rig......" Kurz tries to say as Melissa elbows him in the ribs.

Everyone begins to laugh at Kurz's expense.

The conversation goes back to what what everyone is doing. Unconsciously, Tessa puts her hand on Souske's leg and gives it a gentle squeeze. Souske a little stunned by the act looks at her and smiles which she returns. They both go back to eating the fish.

"So Andrei, what do you think of this meal that the Capt. and SGT. Sagara provided for us." Mardukas aks of his colleague.

"It is very good Rich.

"That it is and I think the Chef did an excellent job of preparing it and putting the rest of the meal together." With everyone agreeing to Mardukas's assessment with a nod. Which also brings a blush to both Souske and Tessa.

After the dinner is over they all sit back looking at each other with Melissa, Kurz, Mardukas, and Kalinin looking at the two teens that provided such a great meal with smiles on their faces. This in turn made both Tessa and Souske beat red. As if on Que. Andrei Kalinin lifts up his wine glass.

"I propose a toast." He says with a glint in his eye. "To Teletha Testarossa and Souske Sagara for providing a great meal fit for the Czars."

"Here, Here!" The others say looking at both of them.

Tessa looks down with a smile on her face then to Souske who is also smiling. She then starts to stand up when she takes Souske's hand into hers to indicate she wanted him to stand with her.

With them both standing and holding hands, they look at there friends and take a bow.

"Thank you all for having dinner with us." Tessa finally says to them.

As they both begin to sit down both CMDR.'s stand up and approach them. As Kalinin hugs Tessa which takes her by surprise. Mardukas shakes Souske's hand.

"Mr. Sagara, you know I do not like you much, but I can tell that you would never do anything to harm anyone at all unless it was necessary.

"Thank you." Souske says with a little nervousness in his voice.

"You know Capt., your father would be proud of you today." Kalinin tells Tessa in her ear as he hugs her.

"I know Mr. Kalinin, I know." Tessa says a bit choked up.

After Kalinin finishes hugging her, he takes Souske's hand and gives it a firm shake.

"You have done a fine job Souske." He says in a fatherly kind of voice. "Keep it up.

"I will sir, and thank you."

Mardukas goes up to Tessa and gives her a hug and whispers in her ear. "I know you like SGT. Sagara so I will not interfere with any relationship you have with him.

Tessa's reaction was one of complete shock then it turned into a deep red blush when realization comes to her.

"Thank you Mr. Mardukas. And I will remember what you said.

With that Mardukas releases Tessa and stands next to Kalinin. Both Melissa and Kurz watched in silence as Tessa and Souske are thanked by both CMDR's. This prompts Melissa to get up with Kurz following suit. They approach their friends and give them both hugs with Melissa giving Souske a Kiss on the cheek.

"I thank you all for joining us for dinner." Tessa finally says to them all.

As if on Que. They all reply "Your Welcome Capt." With that said Tessa blushes.

As everyone begins to leave they say their final thanks to both Tessa and Souske.

On the way down the corridor from the Mess Hall Mardukas asks Kalinin a question.

"Do you think that it will be fine for the Capt. and SGT. Sagara to pursue a relationship?

"I think it will be all right since that they are both the same age and the fact that Mithril command decided to make an exception for her in that regard.

"What do you mean they made an exception in her case?" Madukas says looking at Kalinin.

"They understood that her age proved to be a problem in the fact that she would not relate well with people older than her until they found out that Mr. Sagara was the same age so they made that allowance." Kalinin explains to his friend.

"I see. I am glad even though I would never agree to it myself."

"That is good to hear since there are those that are still opposed to the Capt. in any case." Kalinin says while stroking his beard.

"I knew that there are individuals that are still opposed to her being in command at such a young age and that they think that she should be used in other areas. But not to allow her to have a life is not an option." As Mardukas says this he has a better understanding of what some of the higher ups really want to do.

"They will realize in time that she is just as valuable as Sagara."

"I hope they do." Mardukas says as they reach their respective quarters. "Well, I will see you at the dock tomorrow to go over the repair of the flight deck.

"See you then Rich. and goodnight."

They both bid each other goodnight and go into their quarters.

Melissa and Kurz are walking back to their quarters as they wonder what Tessa and Souske talked about.

"I bet that Tessa bared her true feelings to Souske while fishing. What do you think Melissa?

"I don't think she did, but you never know." Melissa says with a frown.

"The looks that she gave Souske says that they have shared something meaningful." Kurz says with a thoughtful look that gets him a quick elbow in the ribs. "Owww.... Why did you do that for.

"Because you deserved it for the way you looked and because I know how you think." Melissa says with a look on her face that could melt an iceberg.

They continue to walk in silence when they reach Kurzs room.

"Now go to bed before I hurt you more." Melissa says while pounding her fist in her hand for emphasis.

"Of course Melissa." Kurz says as he opens his door goes in.

"You better not come out until morning you letch." With that said Melissa turns away when his door closes and goes to her room to get some sleep.

After their friends left Tessa and Souske sat and talked for a little bit. As the clock in the hall read 2200 they both agreed that it was late and it was time to go to bed. They left the Mess Hall together. As Souske walked with Tessa to her Quarters he could not take his eyes off of her.

"Ah Tessa.." Souske finally says breaking the silence.

"Yes Souske?

"I was wondering if you would like to go someplace other than the base of course for a nice quiet dinner sometime in the near future?

"I would love that Souske!" She says while moving her hand to take his hand in hers.

They reach Tessa's quarters and she turns to face Souske with her eyes wide.

"Well here we are Souske.

"Yes we are, Tessa.

Tessa opens her door, then getting on the balls of her feet she closes the distance to kiss him goodnight. Souske notices this and moves towards her and their lips touch in a more intimate way than when they had first kissed. After a moment they break the bond.

"Goodnight Souske.

"Goodnight Tessa.

After Tessa closes her door, Souske heads to his quarters with a smile on his face. He knows he will sleep well tonight.

As Tessa changes into a night shirt and looks at herself in the mirror with a great big smile on her face, she thinks over everything that has ever happened to her. She walks over to her bed and stands by it for just a few minutes. Tessa looks at her bedside table and sees a picture of her and Souske that day he taught her how to pilot an A/S. With one final look at the picture and at Souskes feature's she starts to climb into bed. As she climbs into bed and lies down she feels a flame inside her grow. She falls asleep with a smile on her face thinking about Souske.

A/N: I hope you all liked it. It probably is not my favorite chapter. I had a hard time writing it. This will be it for the time being unless I can get to a comp. and upload from there. And no this is not the end of the story. On a side note, I removed two to three sentences because I wanted to keep the rating at the PG to PG-13 level from the last paragraph. Tessa and Souske of course, are still under 18. 


	7. A Fateful Phone Call

Its been about three months since I last posted. Well, a lot of thought went into this chapter. I want to thank to everyone that has reviewed so far. I hope everyone likes this chapter. Now on with the show.

Chapter 7

A Fateful Phone Call?

0700 in the morning

beep... beep... beep

Tessa wakes up to the annoying beeping of her alarm. She slaps it with her hand which not only stops it but also sends it to the floor. Rubbing her eyes she slowly gets up from bed and goes over to her private bathroom.

While taking a shower she thinks about the previous night and the kiss that she and Souske shared. This brings a warm feeling in the pit of her stomach and a smile to her face.

After getting out of the shower and drying off, Tessa walks out into her bedroom and starts getting dressed into her uniform. While she is doing this she begins to think about what Souske will be doing today.

"I guess he will be doing more training today while I have to go over the repairs of the sub." She says out loud with a sigh.

As she smoothes out any wrinkles on her uniform in her full length mirror she daydreams of seeing herself in a white flowing wedding dress. Tessa shakes her head of the thought as she knows that that is every girls dream.

She leaves her quarters to get breakfast at the officers mess. She greets everyone that she passes in the hallway on her way to eat. Once she gets there she gets her usual breakfast which consists of some fruit a bowl of cereal, an english muffin and orange juice.

After eating breakfast, Tessa heads back to her office to get the paperwork done before noon so that she can take a break in the afternoon. As she sits down at her desk, the phone rings startling her. After settling down and breathing comely she picks up the phone.

"Capt. Tesstarossa speaking. Can I help you?" Tessa says in a professional manner.

"This is MITHRIL high command Capt. Tesstarossa, Rear Admiral Hurteau speaking to you instead of sending you a message through the cryptos." The voice on the other end says.

"Yes Admiral, what can I do for you?" She says a little nervous.

"As of today you have been temporarily been relived of command. Commander Mardukas will be in command of the Tueatha De Dannen to oversee repairs."

"Why am I being relived?"

"So you can rest and recuperate after such an ordeal like the one you went through."

"I feel that I can still function..." Tessa starts to say before the Admiral cuts her off.

"Its only temporary Capt. So do not worry." The Admiral says then adds "you will be informed when you can resume command. Until then you can do whatever you want."

"Yes sir." Tessa says with reluctance then asks "for how long?"

"For about a month since that is how long the repairs will take. You can still be on the Island or you can go wherever you want as long as you have someone with you should you leave the Island."

"I understand sir."

"Good, when you do take command again you will be better. Take care and do not take to long in understanding what has happened for you will be stronger for it."

"I will sir."

"Goodbye Capt. and good luck."

"Goodbye Admiral." Tessa says with a heavy sigh.

Tessa puts the phone down and looks at her comm panel and keys the communications room.

"Communications room Seaman Ryan, can I help you?"

"This is Capt. Tesstarossa, contact CMDR.'s Mardukas and Kailin and have them report to my office."

"Yes Ma'am!" with that the line was cut.

Tessa sits at her desk looking at the phone wondering what she will do.

In the Subs dry dock both Commander Mardukas and Kalinan were overseeing the repairs and modifications to the flight deck of the Tueatha De Dannan.

"What do you think of the improvements to the flight deck Andrei?"

"I think that these improvements will make things a lot better than what we had before." Says CMDR. Kalinan looking over the improvements that were made.

Neither one of them noticed the Aide that came up to them while they were looking over the repair work.

"Sir's"

"Yes Seaman?" CMDR. Mardukas asks the Seaman

"The Capt. requests that you both report to her office, sirs." with that the Seaman salutes which both CMDR.'s return. The Seaman turns and departs the area.

"I wonder what Capt. Testarossa needs to see us about Rich?" CMDR. Kalinan asks as he and Mardukas head towards the Capt.'s office.

"It must be important if both of us need to see her."

"It must be!"

As they leave the dry dock, Kalinan looks over to where the A/S training and maintenance area is and sees Souske working on Arbalest. As he looks he wonders if this may have something to do with him as well.

As they reach Tessa's office both men wonder what their Capt. needs to see them about. CMDR. Mardukas raises his hand and knocks on the door. They both hear a sniffle then "come in" from their commanding officer. They open the door and see Tessa sitting at her desk crying.

"Madam Capt. are you all right?" Kalinin asks when he sees her crying.

Tessa manages to look at both CMDR.'s and with one final sniffle she blows her nose in a tissue and wipes her eyes.

"I bet you both are wondering why I called for you." Tessa finally says

"Yes, madam Capt.!" they both say in unison.

"I received a call from MITHRIL high command awhile ago."

"So what did they say Capt." Mardukas Asks a little perplexed.

"Effective immediately I have been temporarily relived of command and you CMDR. Mardukas will be in command supervising the repairs of the De Dannan. " Tessa says with a tear coming to her eyes.

"Did they say why you were being relived of command?" Mardukas asks with concern in his voice.

"Because of the incident they thought I need to be relived so I can reflect on what has happened and to give me a break from work. I can stay on the Island or I can leave the as long as I have someone with me." Tessa says with tears in her eyes.

"Its okay Madam Capt." Kalinan says going over to Tessa putting his hand on her shoulder.

"Take as long as you need and before you know it you will be back in command." Mardukas adds with a sympathetic smile on his face.

"Thank you both for understanding."

"Your welcome Capt." both men say together.

"So what will you do Capt. with your free time?" Kalinan finally asks.

"I haven't decided yet, but I will let you know what my decision will be." Tessa says.

"Very well then Capt. when will you let the crew know?"

"This evening!"

"Okay then tonight we will let the crew know."

"Is that all Madam Capt.?" Kalinan asks as he gets up from his seat.

"Yes it is." Tessa says then adds "Can you have SGT. Sagara report to my office when you see him CMDR. Kalinan?"

"I will Capt."

With that both CMDR.'s leave Tessa's office. After her door closes Tessa begins to think of what she want's to talk to Souske about.


	8. What to do and where to go from here?

Ok here is chapter 8. Thank you for the reviews. Now on with the show. Please review.

What to do and where to go from here?

After leaving Tessa's office CMDR.'s Mardukas and Kalinan walk down the corridor in silence wonder why the high command decided to relive the Capt. now and not after the incident had been taken care of. Despite this both men have other worries to worry about.

"I wonder what the Capt. needs to talk to SGT. Sagara about, Andrei?" Mardukas asks breaking the silence.

"I think she wants to ask his opinion on this new development and if she decides to leave the Island I guess she would want him to be with her."

"That would be a fair guess." Mardukas says stroking his chin.

Both men continue down the hall back to the dry dock, they see Souske come around the corner on his way to the mess hall.

"Hold up SGT. Sagara!" Kalinan says before Souske could head down the next hall that leads lunch.

"Yes, sir!" Souske answers as he stops and stands at attention.

"The Capt. needs to see you SGT. So I suggest you go to her office now." Kalinan says to him.

"I'll head that way now sir!" With that said Souske salutes both CMDR's and heads to Tessa's office to find out why she needed to talk to him now.

"Do you hope that her decision will be ok Andrei?" Mardukas asks looking in the the direction that Souske took.

"I believe it will." Kalinan says looking in the same direction.

Souske walks down the hall to Tessa's office thinking about the night before. A smile comes to his face as he remembers the kiss he shared with her outside her quarter's. He reaches his destination and looks up at the door and reads the name plate that is affixed to it. He raises his hand and knocks on the door.

Tessa is sitting at her desk when she hears the knock. It startled her at first since she was deep in thought which also allows her to go into a whispered state at times. As she regains her composure she gets up from her desk and walks towards the door. Before she reaches the door she stops.

"Come in."

Souske opens the door and enters Tessa's office. As he closes the door he looks at Tessa who is standing before him.

"Capt. you wanted to see me?" Souskes says unsure if he should of used her rank verses calling her Tessa.

"Yes Souske I need to talk to you about something important and you can call me Tessa here since I am talking to you as a friend now not as your commanding officer."

"I see Tessa. I can tell by the way you look that something troubles you. What can I do to help?"

"I have been temporarily relived of command." Tessa says leading Souske to the couch in her office to sit down.

"So that is why you called me here?"

"Yes, I want to talk to you about what I can do and where I can go."

"I see." Souske says as they both sit down very close to each other.

"When I was relieved of command I thought what I should do. So when I talked to both CMDR.'s Kalinan and Mardukas, I asked that you be sent here so I could talk to you." Tessa says as tears begin to flow.

Souske reaches out to Tessa and holds her as she crys. Tessa returns the favor by wrapping her arms around him holding him tightly.

"I do not know what to do Souske?" Tessa says in a muffled cry on his chest.

"What was suggested Tessa?" Souske says while just holding and rubbing her back.

"I was told that I could stay at the base or I can leave the Island. But if I leave I have to have someone with me for protection." She says looking up into Souske's face with a red tear stained face.

"It's okay Tessa. Whatever you decide I will help you."

"Thank you Souske."

"Your welcome Tessa." Souske says leaning a little closer to her and gives her a quick kiss.

Both Souske and Tessa just hold each other for what seems like hours. Souske looks around and notices that Tessa has fallen asleep in his arms and he smiles looking at her. He wonders what will Tessa decide. As he ponders this a smile comes to his face as he makes a decision of his own.

"Tessa I have decide what I want to do with you and where to take you." Souske says in a whisper as he leans back and closes his eyes.

A/N: This chapter was hard to write due to the fact that it did not flow to well at first. The reason for taking so long is the fact that I kept on reading it and revising it slightly until I got it to what I want. I am also having a hard time trying to figure out what to do with the next chapter. Any suggestions will be appreciated.


	9. Are you ready for changes?

Sorry for the long wait in getting this chapter up. I had a bad case of writers block and I also had some personnel problems as well. Also, I would like to thank everyone that has read The first time?. I am also still working on another story calle "Whispered Tech" which is a cross over with another cartoon series that takes place in about 80 years in the future. I hope to have that story ready soon. Well, I shall let you all read this latest chapter.

Disclaimer: I do not own Full Metal Panic! Others do so do not sue.

Are you ready for changes?

That Evening the entire crew and the base personnel are all assembled in the large underground hanger on the Island. Everyone is in formation according to what section they work in. As they wait patiently they wonder why they have all been assembled. Only three people know the truth. One is in formation with the rest of the SRT personnel. The other two stand in front of the formation awaiting the Capt.

Tessa for her part was in her quarters making sure her uniform was just right. With one last look in the mirror she turns around and heads for the door to head the hanger to address the crew and personnel. As she get closer to the hanger area she begins to cry. Not knowing if or when she will return to command.

As the entry way to the hanger gets closer she looks to the future and wonders what she will do. Just as Tessa reaches the door, tears begin to fight there way out of her eyes. Taking time to stop and wipe away the tears Tessa looks to her heart to find the strength to tell the people she works with that she has been relieved of command.

With one deep breath Tessa takes one step forward thru the door and out into the large hanger. Upon entering the hanger Cmdr. Mardukas calls the formation to attention. Tessa walks straight and tall with all the military bearing she can muster. She walks up to the stage that was set up with a microphone so she can address everyone present. Turning to face the crew who has been her family since she arrived, Tessa looks at everyone that is there. She knows that she can do this, so with a heavy sigh she begins to address the crew.

"Earlier today, I was called by MITHRIL High Command." She begins making sure not to allow her voice to falter. "The message I received from them was that I am to be relieved of duty for a period of one month or more." As Tessa says this she feels the tears well up inside her eyes.

"As of today at 1900 hrs Cmdr. Mardukas is in command while the Teuatha De Dannan is being repaired. I do not know what I will be doing in the mean time but rest assured that I will still be in MITHRIL." As she says those last words, Tessa feels her voice falter and the tears begin to roll.

Tessa struggles to look at her crewmates and with a nod to CMDR. Mardukas she turns and leaves the stage. As she leaves the hanger she hears the CMDR. tell the crew they are dismissed. When she gets back to her quarters and closes the door she begins to cry. She sits on her bed holding her bear tight. She lays down on her bed and cry's herself to sleep.

After being dismissed Souske went to his quarters to start packing for the return trip to Tokyo. As he packs he wonders how Tessa is doing. Earlier it was decided that she would return to Tokyo with him. He begins to think of all the events that led up to now. Deep down he knows that feelings for his Capt. began surfacing during the A21 incident. His feelings towards Kaname were also in conflict. As he talked to Tessa, his feelings for her began to grow stronger as they moved closer to each other. He leaves his quarters to go to Tessa's room to make sure she is all right and to see if she has packed yet. He gets to her quarters and knock's on the door.

Tessa hears a knock on her door through the fog of sleep and the whispers. As she rubs the sleep from her eyes, she walks over to the door to open it. She looks up and sees souske standing there with concern in his eyes. As she wipes the tears away that are beginning to flow again she jumps up and wraps her arms around Souske. In response, Souske wraps his arms around her and just holds her as they go back into her quarters.

As the door closes behind them Souske leads Tessa back to her bed and they both sit down. They sit in silence just holding each other when Tessa looks up at Souske with here gray eyes in which Souske returns her gaze. They both look into each other eyes with a realization that this is a new beginning for both of them. Tessa seizes the moment and kisses Souske passionately. After what seems to be an eternity, they break the kiss.

"Souske, what do you think will be going on while I am away?" Tessa says breaking the silence.

"I do not know Tessa, but I am sure you will be back in command before you know it." Souske says then kisses her tenderly.

"Now lets get you packed so we can leave tomorrow morning."

"Ok."

With that they both get to packing Tessa up for the trip to Tokyo.

A/N: I hope you all liked this chapter. It took a long time to write. I will try my best to get the next chapter up sooner rather than later.


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